Allison wore tennis shoes

Yes, this is not a cruel joke, Allison actually wore tennis shoes today. The prophecy spoke of this day when the shoeless child would don a pair of nikes and send the world crashing into a dark abyss of hell. Luckily I own a parachute, so hopefully the seemingly endless plummet will not be that bad for me. On the other hand, their are plenty of poor souls who do not own a parachute. They can show their gratitude to Allison, for she is the reason the whole world is goin to hell in a hand basket. Good job Allison, nice one.